I’m leaving for Myrtle Beach in about an hour and will be gone until Sunday evening. Before you get excited and say “wow, must be nice!”, hold it right there and let me share my mixed emotions.
It’s for work, first of all. Second of all, Crazy Lulu and her husband/our boss..we’ll call him G-Unit, will be there. G-Unit is fine, but as has happened in the past, Lulu comes barreling in like a bull in a China shop during meetings and brings the show down every time, leaving us poor little admins with nothing more to do but blush, look at the floor and kick at the carpet sheepishly.
Lulu sent a slew of emails last night. She’s already settled in at the hotel and has time to start “delegating”. Without further adieu…
Tuesday 6:37PM
Hi
[G-Unit] and I are fully enrolled with a health management eating plan. We have all of our meals provided; they ship to us.
The reason I share this is due to this and the need to:
Write [this]
Describe and outline data questions for [that] We won’t be around much.
Right now this eating plan will be a way of life. So getting acclimated, discipline and focus is a real priority, Look forward to seeing you [Lulu]
Is this a fancy way of saying “ahem, we’re going on that NutraSystem thing so watch out!”? Or is there a subliminal message in there? “Sneak me a Twix and I’ll reward you with $20!” This is actually great news, as bizarre as it is to announce to us travelers. Maybe she’ll give us free will at the end of each day! That would be great. I’m still a bit worried about getting pulled into these “projects” that she’s working on..maybe being force fed pre-packaged lasagna…
Tuesday 11:04PM
Hi
We are here. Room 9–. The ill fated room of which I was locked out of in nightgown. Security said they have never had a call out of this room where people have been fully clothed.
With that,
I believe there is a blue or red plastic band lying on desk where I sit or on bookshelves. Please throw it in your briefcase.
What will we need this for? The colored band that she’s referring to is an elastic yoga/pilates band. (And furthermore, who carries a briefcase here?)
She brought several into the office about a year ago and distributed around the office in hopes that she would come in and see us in action at our desks, pulling and stretching our muscles. It never caught on. I think the biggest setback was the context in which it was presented – “here, now you can get in shape at your desk! Use it and then pass it to your neighbor in the next cube!”. Maybe we’ll see her in a late-night infomercial soon.
Now, we must hurry to leave so that we can pick up her dry cleaning and drive the 5 or so hours to our final destination. Wish me luck!
