Blame it on the Bisquick

Disclaimer:  This post was previously written, kept in a vault for months, and is now resurfacing for your reading pleasure.  That said, my mom’s surgery was a couple of months ago, so don’t call her.  She won’t know what you’re talking about.  That said…

I’ve been driving back and forth between Chapel Hill and Charlotte for the last few weekends to help take care of my mother post back surgery.  I’m happy to have handed her back over to my Dad, who was (because nothing in our family goes without complication) in Mexico for the 8 days after her surgery.  Before getting back to the point at hand, let me just say that 1) go to your parents and loved ones when they are sick.  At least let your presence be known by calls, flowers, or funny cards.  Support makes all the difference.  And 2) man oh man am I happy to have returned her into my Dad’s care.  She is a good patient while she’s heavily medicated and under anesthesia, but after a few days she gets tired of people hovering and looking at her.  That isn’t a personal assumption either- I’ve heard her say it many times.

So, I had a weekend to hang out at home here in Chapel Hill.  Let me just say that I enjoyed it thoroughly.

My dream mixer

The fantastic boyfriend bought me the Magnolia Bakery cookbook a couple of weeks ago (dropping any hints?).  I’ve been wanting it since returning from our trip to New York where we happened to rush into a Magnolia’s while seeking shelter and hot chocolate on a particularly cold night.  Hopefully my recreations in North Carolina will be enough to hold me over until the next trip to Manhattan.

As a result, I spent much of yesterday traveling from store to store in search of ingredients to make lots and lots of cupcakes and other baked goods.  I think that my lack of cooking skills was once an adorable little quirk to the boyfriend, but now that we live together (part of that “new house” change) I think he will encourage me however possible in my quest for mad kitchen skills (with guidance from a cookbook, that is).

My lovely sidekick Katy and I failed in our attempt to make dinners from afar once a week (Blame it on the Bisquick.  It was one recipe’s ingredient and apparently she doesn’t like it.  We’ve been best friends since 10th grade and now I learn that about her.  She’s not picky, except when you bring Bisquick into the mix).  It was fun to try, but it turns out that a lot more planning and coordinating would have to go into it, and neither of us have that kind of time (translation: persistence).

So I was all excited, correction - we were excited, but after leaving a fourth store without my last ingredient – self-rising flour, I was tired and cranky.  Once I find a store that has it, I may get carried away and quickly become that person with an actual use for giant, stackable cupcake carriers.  I saw one the other day at Home Goods (easily my new favorite store by the way).  I pointed and laughed at the pastel-colored containers and then had a glimpse into my future and thought “crap.”  That’s all there was to think.  That will most certainly be me one day.  The girl fumbling around with huge plastic cupcake carriers.

And then I’ll go home, put on a cozy pair of pjs and laugh shamelessly at reruns of The Golden Girls.  Seriously, how do these women get arrested for prostitution on their way to a Frank Sinatra concert?  That’s so like them!  (Insert canned laughter here)

Basta Cosi

I’m thankful to have a job.  Even with as much as I complain about it, really, I am thankful.  Lately I’ve been wondering about how much of my own sanity I should sacrifice for it, though.  There are too many greedy people who I deal with daily who have lost sight of what is really important in life – the free stuff.

So here I am, trying to rationalize why I’m not creating a faux sickness, cashing in on my 2 weeks accrued vacation, and looking for jobs online while on tour visiting friends and family (biggest argument against it:  bad juju to be messing with when I don’t have the best genetic makeup anyways.  Also, there’s my conscience saying “You’re better than that!” each time I think of this).  An alternative course of action would be to summon the best of my creativity to reinvent the most dramatic and awe-inspiring “I Quit!” scene there ever was.  In this plan, I go to work at Barnes and Noble where I can be surrounded by books, music, and happy people (the mind remembers what it wants about working in retail).

Alas, I will trudge in my heavy winter coat (or will it be warm tomorrow?  Who knows these days), scrape the ice off my windshield, procrastinating however I may until 7:53 when I can do nothing more than drive to work, sit in my sad cube (imagine Pam’s desk from The Office and then cringe with me), and try to find value in doing clerical work and helping computer-illiterate people find our website over the phone.

Like any aspiring optimist, I try to find joy and humor wherever I can.  Brad, hairstylist and gossip confidant, sighed with me as I told him about Aaron and my trip to NYC last month.  Brad and I get along for a number of reasons:  First, he has a picture of himself with Nick Arosio from TLC’s “What Not To Wear”, which I used to watch religiously.  Also, he loves The Golden Girls (even dressed up with his friends as the fabulous ladies for Halloween).  And to wrap it up, we both love love love Paris, New York, and David Sedaris.  Sigh…

I haven’t had my hair cut regularly, or semi-regularly since I was a kid, but now that I do it has almost become a luxury that I allow myself.  It’s $35 every 8-weeks but also a built-in therapy session.  I get to look good and decompress at the end of the day.  And just when I was feeling great and ready to head home tonight, I noticed the cashier/host/booking boy’s neck tattoo which was written in flowy script, “In Your Face, World“.  This guy wasn’t built like a bouncer or intimidating, ready to stand up in the world’s face.  He said he got it in his early 20′s when he was in a different place in life and just thought “Who cares!” (I may know a thing about that…only I was 18…).  Well, whether or not he regrets his message to the world, it was like a billboard to me saying “HELLO ABBY!  Stop taking things so seriously and just chill out!”.

Take it however you want, but I hope you too find an unexpected billboard to help you through your week.  And remember folks, let’s not take ourselves too seriously, eh?

PS – I started a book club on Jan. 3.  There are 4 women so far and we’re reading “Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Feel free to read along if you are looking for inspiration via book.

New York – Finally

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Written Sunday, December 12, 2010

I made it.  New York always felt like a lifetime away, especially after so many failed attempts to get here, but as it turns out, the city is only a 1 hour and 8 minute flight away.  Most surprising of all, this has been the same distance all along.  Who knew?

Although December seemed like a great time to go back in the blisteringly hot days of August, it has been a pretty frigid trip.  The morning news reminds us that Manhattan is seeing unseasonably cold temperatures.  So much for a warm welcome.  It’s ok – I have tough skin, especially with anything involving my NY trip.  I learned in my days at App State that it’s not the cold weather one needs to worry about, it’s the wind.  NYC plays by the same book as the NC mountains.

Before I left home, seasoned veterans used only personifying adjectives to describe the wind here.  I kept hearing words like “roaring”, “rushing”, and “chasing”.  It was all a bit daunting, but the truth wasn’t as bad as what i had it in my mind to be, which was great.  Don’t get me wrong though the wind was certainly fierce, it just didn’t turn into the Wicked Witch of the West like I imagined.

Some things I’ve learned about this wonderful city:

• People aren’t rude, they’re just on their way to somewhere important (or seemingly important) and aren’t in the mood to dilly dally.
• Locals don’t look up and marvel.  (I would be a bad local in this regard)
• Exterior doors are heavy.  All of them.
• Public restrooms are often unisex.  Very weird to me.
• Get lost.  You never know what kinds of hidden gems you’ll find.  This is how we discovered Washington Park, NYU, Magnolia Bakery, Times Square, and Central Park.  Enjoy everything along the way.
• The subway is dirty, but not dangerous (from what I saw anyways).
• The city is loud and cars honk their horns any chance they get.  It makes it hard to sleep.  Request a room higher up than the 3rd floor.
• It’s as expensive as you want it to be.  $4 for a Bud Light is better than the $9 I thought it would be.  There are restaurants and bars that are pricey, but many are reasonable and advertise specials outside.
• The buildings are not as sky-scraping as I thought they would be.  In my imagination they were, well, Dubai proportions.  It’s a good thing that they’re not as giant.  It makes this place seem real after all, and helps me believe that I’m actually here.
• Locals are helpful and approachable.
• We walked to W. 82 Street and back to the other side on E. 51st.  The city is walkable.
• I never felt unsafe, even on small streets.
• My haggling skills do not translate to NY street vendors.
• Cash Cab pre-selects contestants.  Don’t get your hopes up on the street.
• Cabs are not nearly as expensive as I thought they would be.  A guide-book at the hotel said that you shouldn’t expect to pay more than $10 per way and I found that to be true.  It was only $10.50 (after tip) for our longest route.  Midtown to La Guardia airport was $35 (again, after tip) , but that’s the same as 2 people on the Super Shuttle which is shared and much longer of a commute after picking everyone up, dropping everyone off.
• The TKTS discount ticket booth in the South Street Seaport was not bad at all.  Less than an hour wait and that was with only 1 person working behind the counter.  You save at least 40% on theatre tickets which can be a huge savings.  We had been saving for this trip for a while, but even so, the $75 splurge would have been a heavy punch if we paid full price.  By the way, we saw La Cage with Kelsey Grammer and it was hilarious!

I have had such a fantastic time.  I fell in love with the views at night of the Chrysler Building, the rocks in Central Park, the $2 hot chocolates served up everywhere, and the restaurants on every corner.  Nothing compares to being at John Lennon’s memorial in Central Park on his 30th anniversary of death, singing his songs along with hundreds of other fans of all ages and nationalities.  I had a man in his fifties to my right who was there by himself, reminiscing about where he was 30 years ago and what happened.  Then I had a 20-something year old Asian guy on my left who was singing loud and proud “Arr you need is Rove!”.  It was all too great not to stay and absorb the atmosphere.  We must have been there at least an hour, and I loved every single minute of it.  It was something that was definitely not planned before the trip but man oh man were we in the right place at the right time.

To add to the Beatle Mania, Paul McCartney was in the city all week, too!  We never saw him when we were walking around, but that’s not to say I wasn’t looking.  Instead I was haunted by his presence – He was on Jimmy Fallon one night and Saturday Night Live later in the week.  So close, yet so far…

I wish I could bottle the experiences of New York and bring them home with me.  It is a bittersweet time right now because I leave this afternoon and head back home.  Home, where I have a dog and a two bedroom apartment that does not fit into a 50 square foot space.  Home is where it’s quiet and I am not woken up in the night by cars or sanitation workers.  Home is nice, but so different from this island I’m on right now.

Aaron and I have been weighing the pros and cons of moving to this area.  The theme that we gather from friends who live here is that it is great, but you have to bust your tail to work around the clock if you’re going to make it.  A friend of mine from high school said he’s lived here five years and still hasn’t seen the top of the Empire State Building or The Top of the Rock.  He hasn’t seen Ground Zero (although Aaron and I went but weren’t able to see much-9 years later).  On the other hand, opportunities are what you make of them so I believe it wouldn’t be so restrictive, but the point is there is a lot more free time in North Carolina, and we can come up to visit and spend our days seeing and doing all things NY.  Not working.  On the plus side, they do make a lot more money here, so the cost of living would be more balanced than I originally thought.

We’ll see.  I love living in Carrboro, but I might want to change it up a bit.

Christmas music just came on the radio here in our tiny shoebox of a room, which means it is 8:30am and time to get up to start the day.  I’m glad that I a got a moment to write while we’re still here.  It has been go go go! the rest of the time.

I hope I can bring this great christmas spirit back with me, because it’s really great here in New York.  Everything is decorated and festive!

Time now to pack my things, schedule our airport shuttle, and then wander around in our remaining hours here.  Until next time New York…

But fate intervened and we didn’t leave that night

To follow-up where I left off.  We arrived at the airport and soon discovered that our flight was cancelled.  Fortunately we purchased  travel insurance so expenses for our hotel, meals, and transportation costs were reimbursed until our flight actually took off.  Back at The Pod Hotel, we had a much quieter room on the 6th floor with a better view.  The staff was great when I called them from the airport to check on availability and offered us a reduced rate of $75.  Who says New Yorkers are all rude?  That felt like a genuine dose of Southern Hospitality if you ask me.

So of all the things to happen, we got an extra night in Manhattan for free!  How did we use it, you ask?  We went to the New York Public Library to wander around a bit.  We even took our picture in front of their huge Christmas tree, which now looks like we were in The White House.  Nope, just a fantastic library!

It was pouring rain so I bought an umbrella (my coat was starting to smell like mildew) and we found an Irish Pub to eat in.  The bartender, an Irishman named Andrew, was so nice and charismatic so we had no reason to go anywhere else after our meal.  I do love a good Happy Hour – such an exotic concept for North Carolinians since it is banned in our state.  Anyways, we made friends who live in the area and one who are offered to give us a free meal at his restaurant, Brenden’s, next time we’re in town.

The only thing left to do after saying goodbye to our pub friends was to eat a slice of pizza on our walk home and take as many pictures while we/I marveled at the Chrysler Building one more time along Lexington Ave.

So really this time, until we meet again New York…

Finding My Zen

In the last month or so I’ve had bizarre and seemingly random things happening to my health.  $410 in doctors visits and a wide range of tests have determined that they are unable to determine a cause at all.

I am currently treating an eye inflammation that is caused by an auto-immune reaction.  It’s rare to have it once if you don’t have a chronic auto-immune disease and I’ve had it four times now.  Both doctors and residents at the research hospital have had a field day fishing for causes.  I’m happy that they couldn’t find anything wrong, but if it’s not the 30+ culprits that they tested me for, then what’s causing the body to freak out?

I decided to be proactive and not sit around waiting for the next referral or lab work.

After researching on the internet, I had an “Aha!” moment.  Auto-immune reactions can be triggered by stress.  This is a start!  The eye inflammation is auto-immune, and the swollen lymph glands can be tied to that as well.  And then there’s the giant knot of tension in my left shoulder that has been hurting like hell. Life is great, but (other than my depleting NYC budget due to health care costs) there is one thing eating me alive with stress:  My job.

More “Aha!” Moments

Although I’m happy in other aspects of my life, I have recently had another “Aha!” moment when I thought about my own life.  I hold the weight of the world on my shoulders every day, and although it’s what I’m used to and what I expect of myself, it’s far from healthy.

I used my Groupon to enjoy a 90-minute massage at Massage Envy.  Afterwards the masseuse informed me that the knot of tension in my left shoulder was much larger than normal, and it was constricting the blood flow to my arm, causing the mysterious pain, numbness and tingling I had been experiencing.  Wow.

She clearly missed the rusty Honda Civic that I rode in on, because she recommended I come in every other week for treatments.  Oh, to have that kind of money!

When I went back to my family doctor for a follow-up, my most recent resident grinned from ear to ear as he gave a big goofy wave from down the hall and then addressed me by my name.  This resident has developed a particular lust over my medical chart and unusual family history, so he and I have great, enthusiastic conversations over things like bone spurs, MRIs and other romantic medical topics.  It actually goes both ways because I was a biology minor in college and I do love talking in medical jargon about my health.  I told him how the massage went and he felt the knot.  Still there, still knotty.  It amazes me how shocked these professionals get when they jab their fingers into it.  He said he couldn’t feel a difference between the muscle and bone.  Oops.  I’ve since named the knot “Lulu” after the woman at work who makes my life hell.

Now that it has a name, it’s time to do something about my livelihood because, frankly, it’s killing me.  And not even killing me in a fun way, like living a rock and roll lifestyle.

So I’m taking a stand and…

Changing what I can

I adjusted my schedule and despite the initial hesitation from my supervisor, I now leave work 15 minutes early on Tuesdays (doesn’t seem like much, but is a lot to ask here in Crazyland, LLC.).  This is when I attend a “restorative” yoga class.  As it turns out, this is just what I needed!  We spend 75 minutes after work in a fairly dark studio listening to relaxing music while contorting ourselves into poses that allow gravity to stretch us out and free us from stress and tension.  It definitely hurts-so-good.  We slump our shoulders so much in the day, hunched over keyboards and staring at computer screens.  This type of yoga helps to restore the body to a healthy frame.   You don’t realize how much you need this until you’re laying on the yoga blocks for the first 10 minutes of class, I’m telling you.  Look into it!

Since I’ve been working to eliminate what stress I can from my life and restore my mind and body, I’ve noticed huge differences!  I’m much happier and I’m making a solid effort to explore and improve my life in all aspects.

• I’ve found a love for English black tea
• I bought amazing curtains in the clearance section at Target for just $7 and the retail therapy worked wonders on my living room karma (c’mon-they’re high quality AND they match my sage green accent walls perfectly!).
• I’m working on taking longer walks with the dog and enjoying the fresh air just a little longer than normal (a huge oversight believe it or not!)
• I have had great adventures around my beloved town of Carrboro this past weekend and though I’ve recently decided that I may in fact want to move to Brooklyn within the next year (yeah-surprise!), I’m so happy with my spot on the map in the here and now.

Other great news – In 70 days I will land in my soul-mate city and the amazing 5 days that I hope will never end will in fact begin.  I would say I’m a pretty fortunate gal.

NYC Bound! Really?

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a sad longing to visit New York.  It’s like the cute boy in class that I’ve always been too shy to talk to.  There have been countless instances when I have had opportunities to go, but every single time it fell through.  I have rerouted my flight plans in a conscious effort to avoid a stopover in NYC because I didn’t want my first time there to be when I was trapped in an airport.  2 years ago, it was unavoidable when coming back from London and I actually had to transfer from JFK to LaGuardia – Why life, why?  American Airlines gave me such a tease as we flew past the skyline.  C’est la vie, alright.

So now I have this amazing boyfriend who is proving just how true to his word he really is.  He said nonchalantly a while back, “We’ll go to New York.  Why not?”.  Why not, he asks?  Why not?  Say that to all of the past reasons why I haven’t been yet – that’s why not.  Well, he might be right after all.  After we had a real Christmas tree experience in my apartment last year, we’ve decided to up the ante and see the giant one in Rockefeller Plaza this year.  Naturally, right?

First things first.  Today goes down in history as the day that I booked my hotel in New York!  Ok, our hotel.  Details, details.  A friend at work recommended The Pod Hotel and after scouring the internet, this does seem like an amazing deal.  It’s chic, clean, it’s relatively cheap (“relative” is the key word), in the heart of Midtown, and just 4 blocks from Rockefeller Plaza.  Try to stop me from being outside of Studio 1-A with a poster for my favorite news anchors Matt and Ann (don’t ruin this for me, Meredith!).  The Pod also has a rooftop terrace that will be the location for many photo shoots.  Sold!

Also worth getting excited about is The Pod’s hostel feel that I really enjoy.  Hostels give you this sense of comradery that you just don’t get anywhere else.  You are constantly meeting interesting people rather than keeping to yourself.  It gives such a richer experience because you’re constantly in the know about places to go vs places to avoid, and you always have fun people to hang out with at the end of the day.   The bunk beds and shared bathrooms just add to the story!

I’m a planner, and at times like this I’m extremely thankful for my experience organizing travel for people in their 20′s-30′s.  I have an outline, a budget and I’m ready to continue booking arrangements.  I know what needs to be paid now and what should wait until December.  Early this year I opened a separate savings account for travel and have since been squirreling $70/month for this trip of a lifetime.  Although the account isn’t as hefty as I need it to be, it will be a huge benefit when December rolls around.

The Pod has a forum where travelers can talk to one another before their trip, which is very helpful!  I’m also reading a lot online and asking everyone from my hair dresser to high school friends now living in NY for recommendations on things to do.  I’m gathering as much as I can via word of mouth and using the Frommer’s guidebook as it should be used for a trip like this – as a coaster.

I have taken my NYC snowglobe out from hiding (it was punished for mocking me) and proudly display it in the open for inspiration.  I’m trying to get a third source of income so that I’m on track for affording such things as theatre tickets, or even a drink at the NYC prices.  Let’s be realistic – there are still a lot of things that require money just waiting for me when I get back (ex. Christmas presents and a newer car).

At the moment I’m excited and certainly feeling like celebrating the fact that I made hotel reservations, but other than that I don’t fully believe this is happening.  Something can wreck it at any time and there I will be, calling to cancel.  I already worked it out with Aaron that if he should decide to break up with me within the 24 hour no-cancellation window, we’re still going but will enjoy our separate vacations and separate bunk beds (even separate TVs!).  Maybe I should work in a 48-hr relationship cancellation clause…

Moving on to more serious topics, should we start taking bets on how long it takes me to start crying out of pure joy when I’m in the city?  This may be poll-worthy.  Get ready, New York!  This sappy Southern gal has been waiting a long time for this.